Lost Distance
by Selectia.Sunrise
Summary: A you perspective story about a collage student in new york. She lives with a roommate in New York Manhatten. She is a photgrapher and roams the streets of new york together with her friends alot. Note*: Warning for mature content Note*: Warning for depresive content Note*: please understand that this is my first story so feel free to give me advise of how I can Improve
1. Prologue meet the green

**Lost Distance**

You wake up with the rumbling sounds of cars starting up at the foot of your apartment. You still have your eyes closed and hear sounds around you like you are wearing headphones. It takes a while for you to completely hear the ticking of your alarm-clock. And the buzzing sound of the mainroad near your flat.

Your eyes open to the blinding light of your laptop. A big document stands open with the words Journey above it. The corners of your mouth go up a bit and you start to read it for the last time.

(2015) - 11th of august - 02:54

I am finally done with unpacking all of my stuff. And I am so glad My roommate helped, because without him I was busy with unpacking until the end of the month. It was a hell carrying all my clothes and stuff from the airport to the middle of the city. Luckily alice welcomed her and of course cursed me for bringing my whole room with me. She is still so excited for me to go to the art school. I still think that I won't make it up until the first year but maybe I am as good as people say I am. It was extremely nerve wrecking to audition to be accepted but somehow I could convince the teachers that I was soothable for the school. The next step was to be a kiss ass to my parents and try the whole summer vacation to prove to your parents you could live an adult live in the city.

The apartment looks bigger than last time but of course alice had forced Daniel to clean the whole thing so I could live there. The guy is one of a kind, and I thought they only existed in movies. With the one exception that he does good at his education. He is extremely lazy and grumpy most of the time. Alice had warned me for that but I could see the good in him. I mean he seemed very nice to first time I met him, And now he helped so I am sure we will get along great.

He even already asked me to hang out in the city later on.

You scroll down and look for a update that is later in that year.

What an amazing city it is here. It was a stressful time getting used to the new city and school, and trying to convince the students of your class that I am not loser was so scary.

But together with Daniel and Alice you found a great way to relax and amuse myself after school. We go through the town to find new places to hang out and take great pictures everyday. because of Alice the brave warrior, we meet new and refreshing people every week. It looks like she isn't afraid of anything.

I remember my psychologist recommended to do the same a few years ago but back then I didn't listen. everything seemed hopeless then, but I put through and within two years of extreme therapy I could handle my problems with ease. My psychologist sometimes wants to know how I am doing and I understand that.

It is so amazing hanging out and cruising through the streets of new york. And my friend group has expanded to scale I could never imagine.

And to a surprise the living room is big enough to fit a large amount of them in it.

You scroll down a month later when you remember you found out more about the school education and how they handled your situation that had been going downhill a bit because you had taken a break from school for two years.

Aaaargh why did I ever choose a creative education. They suspect so high from me and I am not even that good. Luckily Alice helps me when she has free time of her lessons. But the guilt of having her come over every time is exhausting.

haha, wait a moment computer I am taking Michelle outside to calm down and meditate about life.

You chuckle a bit and remember why you love that alice can read and adjust the document too.

I guess alice is right, I am lucky that the school understands about my situation and offered me access to senior students that can help me and in some cases take over when I am at need.

Even though the school hours are normal, The work acquires a full workweek to complete. But I have enough free time to hang out with friends and draw or watching series at home or the local coffee take out's. I love it when I am home and I am continuing to watch a show after my friend had left that Daniel comes to sit besides me and leaves after one episode because he gets irritated by the fact I yell at the screen.

There are now a lot of shows I want to watch until death but there is one I would love to see in death.

The Legendary and continuous renewed show: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I have invested so much time to it that I can call myself the ultimate fan. But of course that is not important hehe. I have watched the old series, read the comics and read a good amount of fanfiction surrounding it.

You look through your documents to look find the last thing you had made. It was a list of your favorite characters

Michelango:

Being on top and overviewing all of them below. He is funny and positive with a heart of gold. And never fails to be a complete goof in every episode.

Donatello:

Close to his younger brother as second.

Smart, cute, And a total dork makes And not to forget his amazing burns and comebacks. him deserve the second place.

Raphael:

Raphael is third. He is total badass and isn't afraid to say his opinion. And his sensitive part to compromise this all.

Aprill and karai:

I don't know why but I put these strong females on the same spot. The are strong with amazing skills, Both just trying to find their place on earth.

Leonardo:

For me Leonardo is the last on this list, He is responsible, loyal and brave, and his skills to control three outrages brothers is truly legendary. But his negative sides remind you too much of your old self.

Always controlling, being held back by social fears. and always doubting.

As much as you always fantasies and hope everything that was made up or you had made up with your wide fantasy is true and somehow in this earth or in a another universe it exist. So this planet isn't as boring as it is. And you not only hope that for this show but for every show. but you have to be real and of course you know it isn't true as much as you hope so.

You scroll completely down to a almost empty page and start typing.

(recent jaar, Januari first, 7:21)

"Oh shit, I already need to be dressed".

With your eyes focused on the clock you dress yourself with the multiped tripping and fallings that come with not looking where you are going. When you go out of your room you still have your shirt half on and unable to find you pants anywhere. You make a little sprint into the bathroom before your roommate can claim it.

It takes you one glance in the mirror to adjust your short hair from the mess it was in. Some locks still point to the sky but you shrug it off and thin it is good enough. A slight smile appears on your lips as you think why you have short hair. The daily task of making the stuff look decent was way too much trouble for you so one day you just took some scissors and cut it all off.

You glance up on the counter where you remeber you deliberately placed your toothbrush to you prevented he could give it to his one nights stands or use it himself during his drunken nights. You reach your arms high trying to find it somewhere on the high counter.

A growl of frustration rumbles in your throat and you storm to your roommate's bedroom.

"Daniel did you gave my toothbrush to a one night stand of yours yesterday night".You bang on the door for his lazy ass to get up. "Michelle!, do you know what fucking time it is, or didn't you yet realize it is Saturday". he yelled muffled because he had his head in his pillow. A dinosaur roar arises inside the room followed with loud banging footsteps getting closer. You had your ear placed on the door, a second the footsteps stopped the door got yanked open. It sure looked like he had fun last night because his junior could take a fresh breath.

Weirdly it was the first thing you saw when he had opened the door. Daniel takes your arm and yanks you on his bed. He jumps back on the bed with an arm around you. "Daniel, what the ever loving fuck are you doing"? The dinosaur within him roars again and turns around and moves on top of you with his face just inches from yours.

"I am making sure you shut the hell up". He says with a Smirk from ear to ear and seducing eyes.

It takes you a asecond for you to realise you have been friends with benefits from the first two weeks you moved in. It all started after a long night of beer and music.

"Oh god, Daniel it is not the time for sex now, if you wanna sleep, you….c..an…sss..leep". you lose your power to speak as Daniel had moved fast and started to kiss your neck.

A quick short squeak escaped your mouth. You have been doing this for such a long time, But the feeling of somebody touching you on such an intimate way it makes you jumpy, it is just always so flattering, as you always think that nobody would want that to do that with you. But somehow Daniel wants to and it gives you an extreme confident boost.

You relax after a few seconds and feel him going further down with every kiss. for a moment you don't feel his lips and you look at him as his mouth goes between your legs. He slightly and slowly opens your inner lips. The cold air of the room surround starting to surround it make you more hot. You feel yourself getting even more wet when you feel him coming closer to it. You feel his warm breath and the heat of his tongue pressing against your clit a moment later. He surrounds his lips around walls and start slightly sucking it. He puts more force after a little minute. You squeeze in the pillow reaching your arms out wide. But then your minds goes a lesson you learned from a crazy friend of yours: always stay safe.

Your hand reaches further over the bed and you go with your hand between the bed and the mattress and you get a condom. You lay it on your stomach so he will see it after he gets up from his action. And then you continue to enjoy his treatment.

It feels amazing and doing it with him feels so safe and secure. The strong grip on your leg disappears but is replaced by the sound of him jerking. You feel pressure building up deep inside your pussy and its build up more and more. You stop him just in time.

"Daniel wait". He stops immediately

"WHAT NOW" he says fairly grumpy.

"I dont uuhhm want to make your face uuhmm". Your face is full red and you can't come out of your words. "You know what I mean".

"I don't fucking care, you are delicious". He says with a wide smirk on his face. You hold your hands before your eyes and cheeks and you feel again a big pressure building upright after your feel him put his tongue on your pussy. Your toes curl up and you squeeze hard in the pillow under your head. You release hard moans for a little less then twenty seconds as the pressure blows away from your clit and you pant heavily afterwards. He grabs your hair and puts his shaft deep into your mouth with much force. You move away from a bit and then puts your hands on his hips and starts to move up and down with little bites right under his head to tease him.

Getting more deeper and deeper to prepare your throat for a Deep throat. He takes over and you feel the warm fluid filling your mouth. Your remove yourself slowly from his shaft and open your mouth with a smirk and teasing eyes. He laughs and pets your head. "Good kitty cat". He says and kissed you on the forehead. You swallow the sperm and look for your bra.

"Who said we were done". He says very stern. You look at him confused. "What do you mean, daniel.

He chuckles and lays a hand on your thigh and moves towards you "I can do you all day babe". "But first breakfast".

You shake your head with a smile and shrug to let him show you are fine with it. "So you are suggesting a netflix and chill marathon". He nods and gets up fully naked and walked to the kitchen.

Michelle stares at him while he grabs some eggs and cracks them open on the counter. As the gentleman he is, he wipes the spilled egg joak of on his pants and scratches his ass. "such charms" she whispers to herself while she continues lurking on her roommate. With the stove still on he swiftly makes his way back to her but except of entering he slams the door and a clicking sounds comes from the other side. Her heart sank to the floor and she feels her waterwork starting up. In a sudden wave she feels her stomach twisting and a pounding rises inside her head. With the speed of a cheetah she gets up and bangs on the door. "Danny, what's wrong, why did you lock me in"? She knew he could be just as hotheaded as a lucifer but this just didn't made sense. Daniël had his moments of acting irrational but her never ever had locked her in. "Daniël let me out please, you know I don't like being locked in." An response was not there only the smell of burned food. "Dan, If you don't want to open, I should check on the eggs".

A Lot of sound followed after she said that as well as the smoke alarm raging through the halls. A snakelike sizzling sound followed quickly after. But still not a opening of the door. Michelle gave up and decided to wait until he had calmed down. In the meanwhile she layed on the bed and put her ear on the wall to listen to the any sound from the hall.

A full ten minutes later the sound of the door awakened her alertness and she stood up from the bed. Daniël opened the door very slowly still completely naked. And michelle was surprised with the sight of the whole apartment floor covered in rose petals and candles. Her eyes opened in surprise and confusing. "what is this all for, you want to practice on me". Daniël face turned upside down from a smile to a frown and he walked to you. "No, I don't have to practice". it was silent for a moment.

"happy anniversary"? he said and try to smile a bit.

"anniversary?, why do we have to celebrate an FWB relationship". Daniël confused face turned into anger and he walked away to the living room.

"what!, What is it daniël, I'm sorry but I just thought it was not that special".

There was no response but she wanted now to know what was going on.

"Daniël, don't ignore me, what's up".

He stormed towards her and stopped an inch before her.

"NOT SPECIAL"?! "Am I just a toy to you michelle, just a object you can fucking use". "I am, Aren't I, Just another person you can use to fill up your fucking pathetic loneliness.

You stare at him, confused as a gamer with a dysfunctioning controller. Why is he acting this way.

"No, of course not". was the only thing coming up to your mind.

"oh fuck off, You can't do anything but lie, JUst so everything can happen like you planned".

You can't think of any words in response, the only thoughts in your mind are trying to figure out what is going on.

"The only dogfucking thing you can do is always complain and whine about the world and Digging for compliments, Just to fill a ego you can't fill for yourself".

You feel your shoulders getting weaker and bend your head down a little. Some face make there onto the ground.

"Just cry, filthy slut, Just cry and make sure to let it seem this was all my fault".

"nooo, not today slut, everything's always my fault, I am lazy and useless aren't I". "But no you are the perfect fucking student and person, you can do fucking everything".

"AND I, I JUST FUCKING FAIL AT EVERYTHING HUH,THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK".

"NO, I NEVER SAID THAT".

Daniel stepped back a little but then hold up his fist. He looks for a second in your eyes, his shoulders move down and he lowers his arm.

"Fuck you".

He storms to his room and you hear a click. You are left in the room helpless and empty. Emotions overwhelm you and crash down with your head buried in your arms.

In the other room Daniel makes a lot of noise from screaming to banging.

Overtime the noise start to be less. You stand up and start cleaning the living room as you figure that he wouldn't be in the mood to see it.

It takes a full hour to clean and by then the noise in Daniel's room has gone quiet.

With a extreme empty feeling you sit down in the couch looking out the window.

Sometimes she would walk up to his door and try to gather courage to go talk to him but she never dared to knock on the door.

It took Daniel three full hours to calm down and when he gets out and looks at you. He ignores you and walks to the kitchen and gets food.

You walk into the kitchen and put on a slight smile.

Before you can talk he start to yell at you again. But you have enough to get to be treated like a child like that. You walk towards him and yells back. Daniel stand back again and runs of towards his room. You follow him still yelling at him.

"just leave and go fuck that whore friend of yours".

You gasp and you feel a rush of anger. Without thinking you give daniel the biggest bitch slap you ever gave. Daniel face gets pure red and before you could react he hits you in the face.

"what the hell Daniel".

The pain that first felt moderate starts to feel worse and you hold your hand in front of it.

"Just keep your hands by yourself, Michelle".

The fight escalated from there and it took 4 hours for them both to calm down a bit. Daniel had locked himself in his room again and michelle sat in front of it.

The neighbors came at the door to check on her but she didn't open and just jelled through the door, She was alright. They always look after you, it is a young couple with a child and without your consent Daniel had told them about your situation, Well he told almost the whole floor you were depressed and suicidal.

For the rest of the day Daniël didn't come out and you watched some shows trying to calm herself down. Around six o'clock you ordered take out and the result was another fight. And it continued throughout the evening yelling towards each other's between the doors. Eventually michelle got enough and just sat down before the door without saying any words. The next morning Daniël was gone, he took his phone and wallet with him. A wave of guilt and sadness overwhelmed you and the only thing you could do for the day was cry and watch out of the window.

Monday you called in sick for school and watched TMNT for the whole day.

Tuesday alice, came by concerned. And you could finally leave your heart by someone . Alice knew about your situation and helped you for school and cared for you. She stayed until friday.

Saturday was the hardest day for you. The teachers had send a email saying that you had to attend school so you wouldn't be more behind schedule. As hard that you tried you could only stare at her screen.

At 2 AM you look at your computer screen with empty eyes, a heavy head and lonely heart. It has been ripped out of your chest and it is like the blood in the veins of your hand will burst out any second and the immense pressure is shaking your hand like a earthquake.  
The light of the monitor shines in your eyes as a burning sun. You feel the sleep on your eyes and your head is full. Your hands hovering above your keyboard but you don't know what to type. Not a single idea escapes the tops of your fingers without doubts that make them return to their place.  
The sigh that you release from your mouth feels like all the air of the world was trapped inside your lungs. You close your eyes for a second and push your chair away from that evil desk. A quick glance at the bedroom that lurks like a cat in the night, staring down at you. You feel the tears at the side of your eyes but you stop them.  
Daniel didn't come back for a week already and you were starting to feel like he was never coming back. With the fight you in your mind you still can't figure out why he left so sudden. For a week you are torturing yourself with guilt and giving him the right to say the things he had said. Five fucking years thrown away like failed a test for a stupid fight. He was your only friend that did everything for you and you made sure he hated you. Maybe it was just you, maybe you are just the worst person ever. How would anyone ever love you, how could they be your friends if the only thing you do is throw them away.  
Maybe this a sign you were never meant to be here anyway, I mean it is not like you are a good photographer anyway.

your eyes fly from the bedroom to the kitchen counter. and in particularly the beeping phone on it. It is probably the group chat, you wonder. Should you call him and say you are sorry, at least that you want to change, that you will do everything and try your hardest to make it up to him. You hear his voice banging on your head with the same words over and over again.  
"Why would I love you, Michelle, you are a useless slut, who can't do anything right".

"You are a worthless pathetic excuse for a friend and you will continue to lose them if you stay this drama queen".

That was the last thing you had heard from the other side of the door.

You tried the whole night to reach out to him but you gave up eventually and just sat in front of his door until your eyes were to heavy and you fell asleep. The next morning you wake up with a slammed open door and one last foot of him leaving the hall. You didn't even had to courage to look for him, scared to get yelled at again. you thought you deserved it but what could you do to change, you tried everything so this had to be who you were. And you hated that truth.  
Even more memories flash before your eyes. You have enough, enough prove to make a decision. You skip out of your chair and reach for your coat who you rip down from the hanger and you speed out of the hall with tears in your eyes. The world seems to be in a large camera blur and the sound is just like you are underwater. you run up the stairs and with every step your legs feel a little bit lighter. A small curve in the corner of your mouth appears as soon as you feel the cold night sky. and you are able to look above everyone. The fresh smell of the night makes your eyes less heavier from sleep and you feel like flying. You sit down behind the little building of the elevator and stare the corner of the building down. You let everything sink in again and breath in. As you walk to the ridge you look slightly above it and see the skyline with bright red and yellow lights light up the air. You would usually grab your camera to snap the picture but now you feel like doing nothing at all, what is the point anyway. You start crying silently well you feel freedom in front of you. After a few minutes your last thoughts are disturbed by whispers behind you.  
You figure it are the neighbors who heard you stompin down the hall.

"you guys leave me alone, I am okay I just need some time alone". you shakingly saw over your tears.  
You know you are lying, but you are just not fit for this world. The whispers seem have more than two voices behind it and they seem to be arguing. You let some air escape your mouth and look down the edge and then you know this is the right thing to do.

The whispers seem to have stopped and you smile brightly. "finally alone". are the last words you say out loud before you feel all your worries behind you and you feel the ground no longer beneath your feet. Only a few screams follow after.  
But you don't feel the ground hitting you instead you feel a arm grabbing you by the waist and swinging you over something hard. You hit your head hard against it. The thing feels cold with a certain scratches in it. You keep closing your eyes until you don't feel movement anymore. As soon as you open your eyes you are in a complete shock and confusement. as if you just got bitchslapped by a toddler because you didn't do what he wanted. The thing you are hanging on is very tall as the concrete floor is for sure two feet under you. You eyes look beside you and see the thing you hit with your head. A turtle shell with large brown leather bands around it. You can't place what is happening and you actually don't believe it. You analyze the shell and the things you can see. one sai stick beneath the leather and you recognize everything. "Raphael". is the only logical thing coming out of your brain. You get immediately dropped to the ground. You need some time to go back to situation after your head hits the ground. "How do you know my name"! his deep voice screamed almost inside of your ear. you turn around to see the red lucifer standing before you with his weapons aimed at you.  
You don't know what to say and wonder if they even know if there is a show about them. You hear the banging of fire stairs behind you of the other three turtles climbing down the side of the building.  
"No fucking way, this is not true". is the only thing you can think of to say. Raph growls like a dog and set a quick step forward. "tell up , how do you know me". You can't help but smile to the extreme bad temper of the little turtle. you are not as frightens as you would be with a human because you know they are not allowed to kill or badly injure someone by their martial arts. You sit on your knees to show you are not a threat and take a deep breath. "my name is Michelle, and I know you from a tv show". A blue masked turtle stepped out of the shadows with his hand near his katana.

"you better have a good reason for me to save her, leo and mikey"! Raphael yells rude with his back to you.

That sentence knocks you back to the exact situation and you get thrown fact that you just tried to end your life, you feel so stupid and egoistic. You feel your tears welling up but it only takes one glance at your broken phone to completely crash you down. You cry out loud and burry your face in your hands.  
"good job raph" leo says with a big dramatically sigh and slaps the turtle on the back of his head.

Surprisingly you don't hear a response from either of them. But you do feel two large arms gentle arms surrounding you.

"Don't listen to the mean guy".

You recognise the high and joyful voice of Michelangelo. The hug you receives feels warm and meaningful. It makes you more emotional but also you feel safe and loved. He give you a tighter hug and you do the same.

"what are we going to do now, we can't stay out here longer". leonardo says and puts his katana's back.

"let's take her back to her house and we see it from there". A fourth voice says very close. The two big arms that were still around you lift you up. It takes you a while to go back out of your mind and come to earth.

"where would she live, It can't be far from here".

A large finger goes under your chin and gently pushes your face up. "Uuuhhhm I live in this apartment, I have a key to the back door".

"alright, then we can get out of the cold and talk".

A faint smile appears on your face". You seek in your pockets for your keys and then you realise where you had put them when you got out to get groceries. you bite your lip slightly and feel your face burning up.

"mikey?, could you maybe look away". You whisper close to his ear. You see a rose glow on his face and he looks confused but does what you say.

Trying to make sure it doesn't look extremely weird and rude, you reach your hands in your bra trying to find your keys. Quickly you get them out and hand them over to leonardo who looked flustered .

You force a smile on your face to the four boys and together make your way to your apartment. Mikey had Insisted to carry you until you were inside. After you noticed you had no choice but to listen, you accepted.

He lays you on the old dusty couch. The appartment was still dark and the four stood around you. Mikey had kneeled in front of you.

The eyes of the boys wandering off in every direction of the room. All of them looking confused and shocked into the darkness. A wave of guilt surrounds you because you have dragged them into your shitty live. You look a bit afraid and nervous into Mikey's eyes, looking for words to brake the screaming silence. "Uuuhhm, I don't know what to say".

He gives you a comforting smile and places a hand on your knee. Leonardo walks around the couch and sits beside you. "You don't have to say anything, right now". His eyes were reassuring, you know he meant it from his heart. You almost melted by the sight of it. Raphael wanted to open his mouth but he was stopped by three very serious and angry faces. He growls lightly and looked with dead eyes towards you.

Donatello checks out your computer as looked eager to go and use it. He places one hand of your keyboard and the screen pops on. He looks shocked and swiftly walks away towards you. You know what he saw and you blush a little. "Look you can take your time, but we really need to know where you know us from". Nervously you twist your fingers, it was already awkward enough that they had to save you from such an act but to explain those poor boys that their whole lives maybe have been showing on the television for years is just plain impossible without panicking. "well, it is quite difficult to explain, In theory I never knew you in person, the only thing I hoped for that you four existed." "But for the last few decades there were multiplied shows your existence. I am quite surprised it even is possible that I the this television show seems to be a true documentary of your life.

It is not surprising the four boys listen in shock and confusion to what you have to say and that they stay silent for a while.

"what show?, I wanna see how awesome I look".

"well, it is broadcasted on a children's channel, it is called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it had quite a few shows before that".

It is dead silents and even though your mind is quite busy processing what's happening now, it reaches towards what happened a moment ago with every change you got".

"for decades, so everybody knows us". You could understand from the mumbling of donatello.

"well not exactly, They know the characters in the tv show and not everybody on earth watches it, the group is quite large but there are shows which are getting more attention". You notice your voice is cracking and it sounds like you are a man of forty.

The situation changed very quickly and you are still shaking because of it. Now that the teen boys are processing what they just have come to know, you have also time to reflect on the whole thing.

The living room was still dark, with only the horror like flickering of the retro neon signs on the walls. The only bright light is emulating from your computer screen which is still on. The bad lighting doesn't give you a chance to look at the turtles properly. Your eyes wonder off to Brian's room were a red big clock reveals that is well past midnight and three hours away from dawn.

Mikey was the first to look back at you and you give him a reassuring smile that things are okay. well you feel good enough to walk again at least. You start nervously twisting your fingers as you don't know what to do. "uuh, Are you guys hungry"?

A sparkle ignites in the young turtles eyes. "Do you have pizza". He almost screams of excitement. Leonardo and Donatello shush mikey threatening and raph slaps his hand on his forehead. "You want to wake up the whole block shell brain".

"It is okay, they never wake up , I mean I am pretty lou….". You feel your face burning up. Why can't you just keep your thoughts in your brain.

The turtles stay quiet but they all have a slight grin on their face". You feel the warmth on your cheeks rising more.

"Anyway pizza it is right". you say fast and rush to the kitchen and put on the lights. You open up the large fridge and look for three large pizza's. You walk past the oven turn the heat on and throw the pizza's on the corner. Over the the blazing sound of your oven you hear the four boys whispering to each other. And then the childish outburst of michelangelo follow by him running towards the pizza and munching on the still frozen pizza. You slap the pizza out of his hands and take it from him. "Hii Brainiac it is still frozen". You say teasing. He tries to grab it from you still but you run off to the other side of the kitchen. "Orange no!"

You hear the chuckling of the three brothers in the dark. And you can barely hear donatello say something. Mikey stand very close behind you as you open the oven and place the pizza's inside. He continues watching into the oven almost flooding the kitchen floor by drooling. Raphael, Leonardo and Donatello also comes closer to take a peak. They stay in the dark and watch from a distance.

You understand why but you are to curious about how they look. "You don't have to be afraid, I have to look in the mirror everyday, nothing can be worse than that". The take a step in the light and to your surprise it doesn't look all that bad. They don't look like those huge asses in the feature movie. They look a little bit skinnier especially Donatello, The masks are less bright and they are two feet longer than you.

You fluster a bit at how masculine their faces really are. "So you want more cheese on your pizza to add on later"?

"Sure". Leo says.

They take a more relaxed mood and lean on the counter. Raphs hold a distance still and leans on the Fridge.

"Raphael I shouldn't lean on my fridge".

He doesn't listen and changes his mood. "why not, what are gonna do". he Pushes himself on the fridge and a large bin of food package plastic fall over his head. "Because I keep my plastic trash there". You let out a small chuckle and try to get the grease and dirt of his shoulder. He pulls himself loose from you and stomps to the living room where he throws himself on the couch. His brothers laugh hysterically. You just stare surprised towards the lucifer of a turtle. Leonardo walks towards you and puts his hand on your shoulder. Leave him alone for a bit". He whispers swiftly in your ear. You feel your legs turning into jelly for a moment after you feel his breath on your neck. You nervously laugh it off and bend down to clean everything up.

You hear a short snort and chuckle behind you. and it doesn't take long for you to realise what it is. You suddenly feel the draft on your bare legs. You hadn't worn pants for the whole day. It takes you back to the whole day again.

"I wanted to die without any pants, everyone would write me off as just another new york slut". You jelly legs break and you fall of the ground. "I wanted to leave without leaving any note to my parents or even thinking about them". The wave a guilt pushed you more into the ground. All noises turn into static and your world seem to numb and blur around you. You tears to start to fall from your face and emptiness fills you again. Three warm arms surround you but you are too far gone to realise that. "we need to get help or bring her somewhere". Thoughts rush through your brain. "no please, no , don't leave me, don't send me to the hospital my parents will find out and bring me back to home, I have finally something here, please not that, anything but that".The voices had faded in the static too and the only thing you feel is that someone picks you up. They put you on the couch and you want to lay down but are feel a warm leg under your head. Before you can react a arm surround you. It gets really silent all of the sudden with only the sound of you weeping silently while you watch at upcoming thunderstorm in the distance. You stare out of the window for a while and then look up to find the bright green eyes staring down. He smiles and firms his grip for a moment. "Don't worry, we will take you somewhere safe". A small 15 minutes later the oven starts beeping and you plan to get up but Raphael stops you. "We know how to operate a oven, dont worry". In that moment you hear a painful scream. You shock but Raph holds you down. "mikey always burns himself on the pizza, he is a little bit greedy". You nod and look back to the window. Three large pizza's are placed on the table and the other three sit in front of you with mikey still holding his thumb in his mouth. "come here". you said and gave a kiss on it". He blushes and you do too but he then continues to munch away his pizza slice. You reach to the table to get a slice as well but raph stops you again. "here let me help you". His large plaster touches your face as he grabs two slices. But your mind didn't really had a response anymore. Everything was twirling and spinning inside your head. The thoughts in your mind were screaming you didn't deserve any of this, you didn't understand and you were wondering this was even true. was it, or was this your heaven and why did you deserve to go to heaven then. Raphael comes closer to your face and smirks a bit. "Open up".

You smile a bit and open your mouth. He gently starts feeding you. Leo watches at the scene in pure confusing and irritation. Donatello smiled a bit and then continues. Mikey just stares with a almost sad looking face. You start to feel safe again and smile a bit more. "after all this shit and after everything that happens, you can at least feel glad that out of the million things they could have done tonight they choose to spend a night with you. You feel the wave of sadness and hopelessness coming up again and bury your face into Raphael's stomach. You feel the four stretch their arms around you and it slowly fades again.

After the pizza was done and Donatello and Leonardo insisted on cleaning the place to let you rest. They were quite fast at it and in no time the place was spotless again. In the distance there was a red glow covering the skyline of the city. Raphael picked you up and closed your eyes. "Rest, you need it". You felt him walking up stairs and after a creaking door opening the cold outside air caressed your skin. He starts running and then graffity fades. You feel dreamy and light.


	2. Everything is left is darkness

You wake up in Darkness. You can't see any windows and it smells like a million rats have died around you. You try to figure out anything of sense, why did you end up here, and where are you. You do remember what you experienced before you fell asleep but wasn't that just a dream. Maybe everything was your own heaven. You try to look for your phone around you but don't see it.

You stand up from the couch and feel your head banging like a madman. You stroke your head and there is a large bump on the side of your head. You try to find light in the complete darkness. Not far from you there is a stroke of light. Reaching your hands to make sure you don't bump into something, you walk towards it. A couple steps later you almost trip over something solid. It feels cold and kind of wet. You place your hand on it and it crawl over the obstacle. You drop down silently and hear distant voices coming from the light. A clear teenage boy growls and there is some crashes and thumbs. You stay two steps away from the light.

"That chick is not staying, how do you even know she is not faking everything".

"Casey, that was harsh, she tried to kill herself".

"Look I've seen this, some depressed little emo chick thinks she is so special and is desperate for the attention, It happens all the time on high school. And after there breakdown and everyone shows caring they suddenly stop being sad and depressed".

So it did happen, you have met the heroes of your dreams. Curiosity of what they would say later hits you but you understand that you weren't supposed to hear that anyway. You back up and try to look for an exit but it is so goddamn dark. So you reach into the darkness again and turn around. A foot away and the floor disappears and you fall down three cement steps.

"Shit, fuck, motherfucking Cocksucking stairs"!

The voices in the distance stop. Your head pounds like crazy and you feel dizzy, You get your head up and see a eye burning light. Each and every one of people in front of you have like two or three twins. You try to get up but you fall right back down. Two thin but big hands hold you up. "donatello get some ice". says a deep stern voice.

A moment after is what it feels when you wake up again. Now the surface beneath you is cold and smooth. When you open your eyes it feels like the sun is right above you. "what the fuck, where am I".

You give your eyes a while to adjust and try to get the image in front of you clear. Everywhere are canisters, empty and filled with green emulating liquid. Wires, metal, papers, Gas Tanks and other stuff cover the ground and walls. It feels like there is a earthquake inside your head. There are yelling voices outside and it seems not much time as gone past, but your head could be tricking you.

One foot at the time you try to get of. it seems you have been put on a iron table. A large bag of ice lays beside you and small puddle is formed under the table.

"who is she". Says the same deep voice.

"Master splinter, let me explain".

"HOW MANY TIMES DID I SAY THAT IT WAS FORBIDDEN TO BRING ANYONE INTO THE LAIR".

"maybe this proves that you all aren't ready for the outside world".

"please master splinter you have to understand".

"She wasn't feeling all too well". you hear raphael say.

You figure it rude to continue listening. Using all the guts you have you stored in your body and step out the room.

You wanted to apologize for the trouble but the four brothers desperately signed you to get back inside.

The Big rat turn around like a cheetah and looks direct at you.

"There seems to be nothing wrong with her Raphael, and if she was sick you bring her to the hospital next time'.

You feel like becoming a mouse yourself and look a bit away from the rat.

"u….u..uu. I..I.I.I …..th..in..nn.k.I s….ss..sss..hou...ld….g..g….g..o". Tears gather up at the sides of your eyes and you feel weak. The expression on the rat's face changed.

"I….I...mmm….s.s...so...rrr...y, I...ww...as….a.b..b. .der".

Mikey stands up and walks towards you. "Michelangelo sit down"! Mikey ignores his master and hugs you. "It's okay, you did nothing wrong". he says smiling.

"I did if I never had tried to jump then you all didn't had to save me".

"michelangelo, sit down".

Mikey nods and goes back.

"I will speak to you all later".

He lays a hand on your shoulder.

"come with me, I wanna talk to you alone". As you look too the surprised brothers, you walk alongside master splinter to his dojo. He sits down and sighs. You do the same and look a bit away.

"Can you explain me what happened". He says almost cold hearted. You try to look for a simple answer, but there isn't really a short explanation that wouldn't leave you in uncontrollable tears."I dont know how to explain, sir, It is a really long story". The feeling of your knees weaken, Feeling like you will crash down any second. "I am not good, I mean like in my mind, I am weak, I don't want to live anymore". Splinter nods and reaches out to embrace you. "don't worry, I will ask one of my sons for the most important information, and I will let them look around for some clothing as well". He leaves you alone in the dojo. It gives you a while to process everything is a normal and healthy way. Before your thoughts go overboard you leave the dojo as well and go the the living area.

The four turtles sit around and are busy talking to each other. you feel a pinch of playfulness. they bump each other on a occasion. A bright red girl sits behind them and not long after you had stepped inside of the room she walk over to you. donatello looks up to her and follows her. Soon followed by his brothers. They all reach out their arms to give you a big group hug but you decline. "I'm sorry, I do appreciate it, but I have a lot on my mind right now". April smiles. "I think a cup of tea will do you good".

"that would be wonderful, if it is not too much trouble".

"Fake Bitch". Whispers Casey who has been standing behind a pilar. "kasey!". April crosses her arms and gives him a evil look. "what!, it's true, You"ll see". You stand still and stare at him. "Can you stop staring at me little girl, it is rude".

"well you are rude too, I guess that makes us even huh hockey face". For some of a reason his comment was just enough to tip you over the edge. He walks towards you only to stop a centimeter before your face. "You think the world surround around you, huh".

"what the hell, is your problem dude".

"my problem is that you are weak bitch and you don't deserve the company of us". "you a average emo little attention whore".

A tear falls down your angry face and you feel your your lips shaking. He give you a dirty smirk and walk away chuckling. You feel your water starts to boil and you run towards him. Your first makes its way into his crotch". "go fuck yourself jones, and go live in a ditch!". Surprised by your outburst you look at the boy now in agonizing pain, your eyes go to the group who stares at you with wide open eyes and dropped jaws. it takes one look at the little metro gates and you run towards them. Raphs quickly outruns you and stops you. Tripping over his feet you hit the ground hard. you are scared for being yelled at so you cover your head. "I'm so so sorry, I didn't …. sorry, Let me leave, I don't belong here". He picks you up by your hips and carries you back. "nope, let's first get some tea". Struggling for a while proves that you have nothing else to do then just wait until he drops you. He almost pushes you inside his plastron. "Come one guys, we take the shellraiser to her house for some tea". He says almost ignoring you but a cute smile ensures you he will make you comfortable. They all make their way to the shellraiser and enter the vehicle. Casey enters as well with almost sick face. . They drive away fast out of the sewers and you see it is dark. "how long did I slept". He chuckles a bit. "you slept like a bunny for the full day". Warmth reaches your cheeks. All of them sit down and raphael takes you on his lap. "I can stand, I am used to the tram and metro of the city".

"aren't you comfortable then". He says with a teasing smirk. The blush on your face brightens, You nod slightly. "Aren't I heavy"?.

"Ha don't worry".

Kasey looks at you with a evil death look. But aprill assures everything will be okay. When they reach the flat again you ask if they want to go through the door, but they decile and guide you through your open window.

The place in completely wrecked and destroyed. papers are thrown everywhere, Cabins are opened and closets thrown over. Without trying to think of a reason you rush to your desk and look at your equipment and schoolwork. "pffuuu, everything is here". The rest of the group look at you with quite a surprise. "oh yeah sorry, My camera is my life". They smile a bit and then get out their weapons. Not a second later they pull you into your bedroom. Two voices are barely audible in the halls. but they are closing in. "I guess she disappeared to end her life".

"how do you know idiot".

"look at that emo playlist and the bottles of pills in the bathroom".

"well I guess we don't need to worry about that little weak bitch anymore then".

The voices are gone within a few steps down the hall. You look into the dark to your window. Pressing our ear helps to hear the little bit they say before they leave the hallway into the hallway. "shit". you say outloud and pull your clothes open and get two big trunks. The four of them look at you as dead zombies, while you throw every bit of paper in your room. Camera's your laptop, photo's, mobile, chargers and more dissapears into the deep trunks. "here bring this outside." You hand the two trunks full of stuff over to donatello. still every boy looks at you in complete confusion. But they have not much time, a distant crying reminds them the guys from a minute ago are coming back. Michelangelo grabs you by your hand and drags you out the window. Leo hangs on to a window. He mumbles something to himself and then climbs up the roof. "we need to get out of here now". Again you get grabbed and helped down on a roof on the other side of your apartment. The two men are busy carrying cans and bags. A girl stares out the window. You grab your trunks and look for your camera. It takes you a second and you zoom into the window. what you see through the lens shocks you so much that you are nailed to the ground. Your hand shake a lot. Before anyone can take your camera you take a shot. Donatello takes over your camera and stores it on the bag. "they, they she looks just like me". Five minutes later the whole apartment goes up in flames. The turtles hug you tight, but the only thing you can do is stare at the torched building and all your memories burn into the dark of oblivion. After the first fire sirens the turtles help you walk to the shellraiser and sit you down. everything you wanted for a fresh start completely burned down. Everything you worked for was gone, and people will think you had died. everything just didn't seemed real anymore. The turtles, casey and april left you alone for the whole ride. Your sense of reality faded with every bump and rocking. The sound felt like you were under water.


End file.
